SHORT STORY – AGNES’S FIRST CHRISTMAS – BY LORELIE OLSON & TIM OLSON

I’m Agnes. A cat. I am ten months old, tiger-striped, with an M between my ears, a perfect tabby. I have a slender body, legs that spring me to the top of a kitchen counter in a second, and a long tail that I control at my will. I like having my own way, but so far, today is not my day. Jake, after retrieving me from the downstairs laundry room, opened the basement door, dropped me on the chilly concrete landing and quickly shut the door before I could dart back inside the house. In July I would have bounded up the stairs to the front door, and waited for Jake to let me out to romp and play. But December? I wished July would last forever, but I’m wiser now about that and some other things as well. After nearly freezing my paw to dig a hole to do my duty, I scooted up the steps to the deck and watched through the kitchen window as the Rasmussens, my people, began their day. 

I could tell that something was up. All the Rasmussens sat around the kitchen table, eating breakfast and talking. As usual, Jake set out cereal and bread for toast so the family could gobble up breakfast before dashing out the door to catch a school bus or get to work. I scratched at the kitchen window to get attention. At last I heard Carolyn ask David, the Rasmussen’s eight-year- old son, “Would you go let Agnes in? She’s cold.” 

“Sure, Mom.” 

I ran to the sliding door in the dining room and waited for David. As soon as he let me in, I darted into the kitchen. Right away I had to put up with Copper, their mush- mouthed Golden Retriever, nosing me. Dogs, they have to sniff everything. Jake said, “We all have to be on board here if we are all to be together and choose a Christmas tree. No dawdling after school this afternoon. As soon as I’m home from teaching, we’ll go up to the Boy Scout tree stand.” 

Carolyn frowned and said, “Jake, I don’t think it’s a good idea to take the boys. I want a nice tree this year — one of those sheared grand firs. I’m afraid that we’ll get impatient and wind up with one of those scraggly bargain trees like we did last year.” 

Billy and David whined, “We want to go, too.” 

“The boys liked that tree and it didn’t cost us an arm and a leg.” 

“All right, Jake, the boys can come along with us, but you watch over them and I’ll choose the tree.” 

“Is Christmas this week?” Billy, five-years-old, couldn’t wait for anything. 

David answered him, “You don’t know anything. Christmas is still two weeks away.” 

“Two weeks? I can’t wait that long.” 

“You will just have to,” Carolyn said. 

A Christmas tree? What is that? Billy and David had been talking about what they called Christmas for a long time. But a tree? We had several trees in the yard. Why did we have to get another one? 

After living with the Rasmussens for eight months, surprises weren’t new to me. That I was with the Rasmussens at all is a surprise, and I admit, I lucked out. How would I know how I got here? So many times I have heard Jake tell the story to friends while I was curled up in Carolyn’s lap. A teacher friend of Jake’s lived in a mortuary and my first people had dropped me on the steps of the mortuary. A friend was bound to say, “A mortuary? 

How could anyone do that to a kitten?” My feelings, exactly, and I didn’t even know what a mortuary was! I could tell from their faces, it was a place no one wanted to be. Anyway, the teacher brought me to school in a little box and Jake took me home. Even at two months, I knew a thing or two and climbed right into Carolyn’s lap. Any cat worth anything knows immediately who will care for them and who will toss them out. Carolyn was a softy. She couldn’t resist me. I like Carolyn a lot. 

The Rasmussens all came home early that afternoon, and then left again right away. They were gone a long time and I was getting tired of waiting. Then I heard the car door slam and the front door open. Jake carried a tree inside and held it up in the living room. Carolyn pointed to a corner with windows on each wall. “That’s the perfect place.” 

Jake placed the tree in the corner. The top of the tree reached all the way to the ceiling. 

Carolyn stepped back to check the tree. “Jake, it’s not straight.” “Isn’t it good enough?”
“Not really, it’s leaning to the left and into the living room.” 

Jake got down on his knees and fiddled with some screws. “Better? You tell me when it’s straight enough.” When Carolyn gave him a thumbs up, Jake poured water into a bowl at the bot- tom of the tree. 

I was sure that this was for me, Agnes: a tree to climb that reached almost to the ceiling and a water bowl at the bottom. I jumped to the top of the couch and watched the family join in to make this tree a wonderland for me. Jake used a step ladder to reach the top of the tree and began to wrap long strings with little bulbs around and around the tree. Carolyn supervised. “Jake, right in the middle of the tree we need more lights in that little hollow spot where a few of the branches are too short.”  

“Honey, I need to finish the top of the tree first. How do the lights look at the top?” 

“Won’t know for sure until we turn the lights on.” 

Billy, eyes big as saucers, watched Jake circling the tree, attaching the strings to the branches. “Hurry up, Dad. Can I put on some ornaments? Can I? Now?” 

“We have to finish the lights and turn the lights on before we put on the ornaments. After that, you and David can place all your special ornaments from past Christmases.” 

“What about the angels? Can I hang up the angels?” David asked. 

Carolyn responded, “All the angels are special to me and each one has just the perfect place on the tree. So, I will hang up the angels.” 

I quivered on my perch like I was stalking a bird. When Billy hung a wooden ornament on the tree, I left my perch, landed near the ornament, batted it down and chased after it towards the dining room. 

“Dad, Agnes knocked my train engine down!” 

Jake shooed me away and shook his finger at me, “Bad cat!” 

I hated it when Jake or Carolyn said, “Bad cat.” Whatever “bad” meant, I wasn’t it. I sat down and licked myself. When I silently approached the tree again, Carolyn picked me up and put me back on my perch, “Stay there,” she said. Now really, Carolyn should know by now that I’m not Copper. I’m not going to lie down and wait patiently for a “Good dog,” and a pet. I’m Agnes and I do what pleases me. So there. 

When the tree was decorated, Carolyn smiled, “I love this tree. Isn’t it beautiful?” 

Jake beamed, “It is. I’m so glad you are happy with the tree this year.” 

David asked, “When will the presents be put under the tree?” 

Billy added, “Are any of my presents wrapped? I could put them under the tree.” 

Carolyn sighed, “Isn’t it enough that we have the tree up? We’ve had enough excitement. Both of you, go play in your rooms until supper. Jake, please pour me a glass of wine while I cook supper.” 

“Just as soon as I wrap the Christmas tree skirt around the base of the tree.” 

After Jake put the tree skirt in place, he followed Carolyn into the kitchen, I padded to the tree, put my head on the carpet and pushed myself under the tree skirt. Using my paws like shovels, I crawled closer and closer to the base of the tree. 

Before I reached the tree, I heard Carolyn walk into the living room and giggle, “Jake, you’d better get Agnes! She’s under the Christmas tree skirt.” 

Jake wasn’t amused, so he grabbed me by the tail and yanked me out. Ouch! I laid back my ears and yowled. Jake scolded me, “You stay away from the tree, Agnes, or you will be put outside.” 

Carolyn came to my defense, “Jake, she was only playing. You don’t need to pull her tail.” 

“Well, she’s going to have to be kept out if she disturbs the tree.” 

“Pick her up and pet her. She doesn’t understand.” 

“Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.” He stroked my fur and gently put me down. I forgave him and happily pranced to the tree. I lofted myself at the nearest ball, which fell down and broke. 

‘That does it.” 

I scurried to the dining room table, and played the in-and- out game between the chair-legs routine until Jake finally gave up, and got down on his knees, “Kitty, kitty, here kitty.” 

I stuck my tail in the air and preened on a table leg. Jake grabbed me and promptly threw me out on the cold deck. Jake and Carolyn were my people. How could they do this to me? Make this indoor winter wonderland and then throw me out? Humans can be really confusing. 

Saturday morning is usually my favorite morning of the week, but that day it didn’t start out very well. Jake picked me up and put me into the back yard. After finding some soft dirt next to the house to dig in, I dashed up to the deck and sat in front of the frosty kitchen window. Jake was gone and no one was up. I shivered all over in the frigid morning. At last, I heard Jake’s Ford enter the driveway and I darted around the house to the front door. As soon as Jake opened it a crack, I squeaked through the door into the house before Copper bulldozed his way out of the door. Jake was walking right behind, down the hall to the kitchen, where he placed a box filled with sweet goodies for the family. Now I prefer Doritos but the pastries are Billy’s and David’s favorites. Soon they appeared still in their pajamas, to grab a pastry and disappear into the TV room. Jake fed me my kibbles before letting Copper in the house so I didn’t have to put up with him looming over me while I ate. 

After the boys left the kitchen, Jake made this horrible smelling stuff called coffee. Every normal Saturday, he takes Carolyn, who is still in bed, a cup of coffee and a pastry, returns to the kitchen, does the same for himself and plops himself in a living room chair with the morning newspaper. I pad into the bedroom, Carolyn pats the quilt and I jump up and snuggle next to Carolyn while she munches a pastry and sips her coffee. I am fed, warm, and luxuriously comfortable. I look forward to Saturday morning all week long. 

But this Saturday morning was different. Carolyn was up and Billy and David stayed in the kitchen. Carolyn was smiling from ear to ear. “Honey, I just love it when you take the boys downtown the Saturday before Christmas Eve. I am so ready for a day alone and the chance to wrap presents with no one here to bug me.” 

“Will we go to Buddy Squirrel’s again for candy?” David asked. 

“I’ll get to sit in Santa’s lap again, won’t I,” Billy chirped. 

Jake said, “Aren’t you guys forgetting something? Something very important.” 

“I know what it is,” David responded. “We buy presents for Mom.” 

“And we get a present for each other, don’t we?” Billy added. 

“Right. Better get ready. Stores open at 10:00 o’clock,” Caro- lyn announced. 

Billy and David dashed to their rooms and Carolyn let out a long sigh. 

When the car was safely away, I curled up in Carolyn’s lap while she had a second cup of coffee. Then she took everything off the dining room table, and brought in packages, boxes, scis- sors, paper, ribbon and Scotch Tape. I don’t like tape. It’s sticky and makes it difficult to tear a package apart with my claws. 

When Jake and Carolyn are together, they shush me off counters and tables. But when either of them is alone, I can be wherever I want to be. Since Carolyn was paying no attention to me, I hopped up on a chair and quietly slithered up on the table top. When I pawed a pair of socks, she noticed me, “Agnes, you want to help me wrap packages? I’ll just bet you do.” 

I watched her wrap presents, but when she began to unroll this crinkly ribbon, I couldn’t resist — I’m a cat after all. I waited for the big roll of ribbon to get closer and closer to me. When it was within a paw’s reach, I nudged it over the edge of the table. Down it went, unravelling as it fell. I leaped off the table and  batted it toward the kitchen. “Agnes, Agnes, what are you doing? Oh, I should have known better than to let you stay on the table. Agnes! Stop that!” 

Oh, such fun. Ribbon got tangled in dining room chairs, then I hit the roll again and it skidded off the carpet onto the slick kitchen floor. I knocked it into a cabinet. When the ribbon was all out, I played with the roll like it was a play mouse. Tossed it up in the air and wrapped it under my tummy. I bounded into the living room, raced along the backs of chairs and back to the kitchen to pounce again on that roll. 

Carolyn scooped me up, holding me tight as she ran down the stairs, and dumped me in the laundry room. “You can stay there all day for all I care. I should have known better.” 

I found a basket of laundry still warm from the dryer and rearranged it to suit myself. I was so tired from playing that I fell fast asleep. 

Jake and the boys awakened me when they returned home and slammed the front door. Billy yelled, “Mom, I sat in Santa’s lap. How can Santa be in so many stores?” 

“Billy, Santa’s not real,” David said. 

“Oh yeah, if he’s not real, how could I sit in his lap? Dad, you saw him.” 

“You are both right,” Jake said. 

“You two are as much trouble as Agnes. Go wash your hands. It’s already late and supper is almost on the table,” Carolyn said as she shooed them down the hall to the bathroom. 

David turned his head as he hustled down the hall, “Mom, we bought you a present.” 

“Shush, don’t tell,” Jake said. “Carolyn, where’s Agnes?” “Oh, I put her in the laundry. She was a real nuisance today.” 

“All right if she comes out now?” 

“Sure. The presents are all wrapped.” 

After supper, Carolyn collapsed in her favorite chair in the living room and picked up a book. “Jake, I’ve sent Billy and David to bed earlier than usual tonight. They are being impossible, almost uncontrollable. Would you go to their rooms and see if you can settle them down? It’s so helpful when you have them think about all the things they are thankful for during the day. I’ve about had it and we still have so much to do before Christmas Eve tomorrow night.” 

“Sure, they need to save up some energy for tomorrow night.” 

“I’m the one who needs an energy boost! Also, put Agnes back in the laundry room for the night. She was just awful when I wrapped the presents. She thought the wrap and ribbons were to play with. She was just into mischief.” 

Mischief? Me? Put me back in the laundry room? I don’t get it. Carolyn is the one who set out the fun stuff for me in the first place. I skedaddled under a chair that had flaps hanging down to the carpet. 

“I don’t see her.” 

“Look, she was right on top of the sofa.” 

“She isn’t now.” 

“Check the towel stack in the bathroom.” 

Jake chuckled, “Remember that my mom said Agnes was a magician when they took care of her?” 

“I remember. She found the strangest hiding places, even inside cabinets. I still don’t understand how she opened doors, though. I hate to put her back in the laundry room, but I just don’t want her underfoot or unravelling the ribbons on all the presents. She’s already broken four ornaments and I’ve had to completely rearrange the angels because of her.”  

“If she shows, I’ll put her in the laundry room.” 

I pushed my nose just far enough to lift the flap so I could watch my people bring present after present into the living room and place them under the tree. Big packages all wrapped with shiny paper and ribbons. Is this for Christmas Eve? I sneaked out from under the chair and attacked a dangly ribbon. Wap! Wap! 

“Jake, there she is. Grab her!” 

Jake scooped me up, ran down the hall, and nearly stumbled over Copper lying placidly beside the front door. “Oh, I’m sorry, Copper.” Jake said before dumping me back in the laundry room. 

My people wouldn’t let me out of the laundry room all the next day. David brought me my kibbles and water. Jake brought me a catnip mouse, “This was going to be your Christmas present. You can have it early and play with it.” I did and then I used my claws to shred it. 

The doorbell rang. David and Billy screamed, “Grampa! Grandma! Are all those presents for us?” 

Grandma answered, “Most of them, but not all.” 

I sat behind the laundry room door and soon Carolyn opened the door. “All right Agnes, it’s Christmas Eve, come on up and enjoy the fun.” 

I bounded up the stairs to the living room. The Christmas tree lights were on; presents covered the carpet; Copper wildly wagged his tail and wiggled all over, and no one paid any attention to me. 

Billy grabbed his mom’s slacks, “Can we open them now? I can’t wait any longer.” 

“Not until after dinner and dishes are all cleaned up.” “I’ll help,” David said.
Billy jumped up and down, “Me too.” 

Grampa asked, “Where’s Jake?’ 

“Well, Dad,” Carolyn answered, “he had some last minute shopping to do. He always waits until Christmas Eve, you know that. This year is no different.” 

“As usual,” Grandma said, “that man!” 

The door burst open and Jake, breathing hard, pranced into the living room and dropped a big bag at the entrance to the living room. 

Grandma chuckled, “Last minute shopping at Nordstrom’s, Jake?” 

“Hey, a buyer had mercy on me and took me to three departments.” 

“I’ll say this for you, presents from Nordstrom are a big improvement from the time you gave Carolyn an electric broom.” 

Jake turned red, “Ingrid, did you have to bring that up?” Carolyn patted Jake on the shoulder and they all laughed. 

After dinner, I sat on a dining room chair and watched the excitement begin. 

“Billy,” Carolyn said, “David is going to bring each of us one present at a time and we will all enjoy what each of us receives for Christmas.” 

Billy wiggled just like Copper, “Mom, I have the most presents. Could I unwrap two at a time?” 

“I have as many as you! I counted. If you get two at a time, so do I. Mom?” 

“One at a time, David. Start with Billy. Remember to thank each person who gave you the present.” 

Billy yanked off the ribbon and ripped the shiny paper off the box. Carolyn had scolded me for doing what Billy was doing. Humans! They play favorites. It’s not fair.  

“A train, just what I wanted, a train.” He quickly put it in front of him. “I’m ready for the next present.” 

David took a big box for himself, “I know what this is!” He stuffed his hand into a flap and ripped off the wrappings. “Oh boy, a boom-box! I can play my own music in my bedroom. This is great. Can I plug it in now?” 

Jake pointed at the presents on the floor, “Not until every present is unwrapped.” 

David brought the biggest box of all to Carolyn. She carefully removed the ribbon and the paper. Inside was another box and inside that box was yet another box. Every box was wrapped but nothing was in it except a smaller box. Strange. 

Billy squirmed, “Hurry up, Mom.” 

“I’m not going to hurry. I can reuse this paper next year if I’m careful.” 

The last box was really tiny. Could anything be in it? After Carolyn opened the box, she stood up, leaned over the sofa and gave her dad a big hug. “Dad, you did it again! A bottle of Chanel #5. How do you find a new way of fooling me every year? You are a gift that keeps on giving.” 

“Is it my turn again?” Billy asked. 

“No, Billy. David, bring a present to Grandma.” 

The wrappings were in a corner near the sofa. I left my chair and leaped to swat every wrapping as it fell on top of others. I tossed ribbon in the air and when the different colors drifted down, I swatted them up even higher. I made new piles of paper and pounced on the mounds, I swatted paper into corners and around lamp bases. I chose the biggest box of all that David had emptied and crawled into it. Gramps Ted noticed me, “Oh, there’s Agnes’s tail sticking out of a box. Isn’t she cute? I’ve got to get a picture of her.” He brought his camera closer and a light flashed. He does this a lot at family parties, so I am used to it by now. 

When all the presents were opened, Jake brought in two big plastic bags and stuffed all the wrappings in the bag. “Fun’s over Agnes.” Oh well, I was too sleepy to play anymore, so I crawled onto Grampa’s lap, curled up, and purred. Grampa Ted, he’s a favorite. 

I awakened when Grampa gently lowered me to the floor and slowly got to his feet. “Ingrid, it’s time to go home. It’s been a great Christmas Eve and now I’m ready for bed.” 

Ingrid said, “I’m ready, too. Thanks, kids.” 

While Ted and Ingrid gathered their presents, Carolyn said to the boys, “Billy, you put your presents on one side of the tree; David, you take the other side; we will put our presents between yours.” 

“Mom, can’t I take my train to my room?” Billy asked. 

“I don’t think so. You have all tomorrow to play with your toys. You need to go to sleep. Remember, Santa won’t come until you are in bed and asleep. David, that goes for the boom-box. It stays under the tree. We all need our sleep tonight.” 

Jake walked them down the hall, “I’ll bet you two have lots of ‘thank yous’ tonight.” 

Carolyn also went down the hall. This was my chance to hide. I found an open space between the presents and scurried under the tree skirt. I turned around and peeked into the living room. Carolyn returned carrying these huge stockings and laid them on the hearth in front of the fireplace. I can count — six stockings. One had to be for me, but one for Copper? Really? What a waste. 

Jake came back into the living room and looked around. “Agnes? Carolyn, have you seen Agnes?” 

“No, Jake, the last I saw her she was in Dad’s lap.”  

“Maybe she went out with them because she had to go.” He opened the front door letting in a gust of chilly air. I snuggled deeper under the blanket. “Kitty? Kitty?” 

I didn’t come out. I knew what they would do. Carolyn said, “Come back inside. I don’t think Agnes went out into the cold. She’s pulled one of her hiding tricks. Anyway, she’s probably all tuckered out from her play. She won’t get into any trouble.” 

I stuck my nose out just far enough so I could see. Jake came inside, hugged Carolyn and they kissed for a long time. Would I ever kiss another cat? Smishing our noses together? Eeeeeeew. Humans do the most disgusting things and even like it. Cats have more sense; we lick ourselves and each other. All at the same time, we soothe, clean, and groom. So efficient, really. I watched them for a while, then backed up further under the tree skirt and listened as they left the room and padded down the hall. 

When the house was dark, I slipped out from under the blanket and enjoyed my favorite way to spend the night. I jumped on the kitchen counter and found leftover snacks, including egg nog for me to slurp. I licked each side of my mouth and my paws. I returned to the floor and found bits of ribbon to chase under the dining room chairs. I jumped as high as I could and batted down another round ornament and rolled it around in all directions. Uh-oh! I heard footsteps in the hall. I dived under the tree skirt and stayed very still until I dared to peek out. Carolyn was stuffing three of the stockings, and grinned from ear to ear when she slid in a few presents into the biggest stocking. She went back down the hall. I was about to step out from the blanket again when Jake came to the living room and filled the fourth stocking. Most of the things were shiny and silky. He even put a few presents in the two remaining stockings before returning to bed. 

I crept out and sneaked up on the stockings. I pawed them, sniffed them, even pulled a pretty smelling box from the stocking Jake had filled. I kicked another stocking off the hearth and jumped on it. More fun! After a while I got sleepy again, and looked for another hiding place. The biggest stocking was only full in the foot, which left plenty of room for me. I crawled inside the stocking and went fast asleep. 

I woke up to Billy and David bouncing into the living room. David yelled down the hall, “Mom, Dad, you should see Agnes! She’s all curled up in Dad’s stocking like a present.” Jake and Carolyn joined us in the living room and everyone made a fuss over how cute I looked. Even Copper was invited into the living room, so our whole family was there. 

Jake, Carolyn, Billy and David all joined hands. Jake said, “Merry Christmas, everyone.” Each one of the family hugged each other and gave Copper and me a pet on the head. All the stockings except Jake’s were opened at once with squeals from the boys and ooohs from Carolyn. 

“Jake, you’re so silly.” 

“Santa was really good to you, wasn’t he, Mom?” David asked. 

“Yes, he really was!” Carolyn smiled at Jake. 

Jake stood there with a silly smile on his face. “Time for you to get out of my stocking, Agnes.” Jake emptied his stocking and found that, he too had some sweet smelling stuff. 

When they were done with their stockings, David said, “Copper and Agnes forgot to look in their stockings.” 

“Well, we haven’t forgotten. Copper, come. Here kitty, kitty,” Carolyn called. 

Copper nosed out a big bone and immediately began to chew. The most exciting smell came from my stocking. My favorite treat! My own bag of Doritos! I pounced on it, wrapped my tummy around it, and scratched an opening in it. Everyone laughed, and I admitted to myself that my people were learning how to treat me. Finally. Whatever Christmas is, I like it! 

The End