A NOVEL – AGNES ON THE MOVE – CHAPTER 1 – BY LORELIE & TIM OLSON

I first suspected a family trip when Jake pushed me off his lap and unfolded this small piece of paper into a big one with all kinds of colored squiggly lines on it.  While I waited for the chance to jump back into his lap, he started muttering, “I’m not sure…”

Carolyn frowned,  “Not sure of what?”

“About whether the old Ford wagon can make it as far as Disneyland.”

“ With the money it will cost to make the trip, I certainly don’t think we can afford a newer car.”

A few days later,  when the boys weren’t around, Jake and Carolyn began talking about what they called the Budget, and how Expensive everything would be in California.  Carolyn said Billy and David would have to save every cent of their allowances. I  had heard that one before.  There were other signs.  For example, at night, I could no longer curl up in comfort on David’s bed because he was so excited that he tossed and turned in his sleep.  One morning after the boys were off to school, Carolyn said to Jake,  “I don’t want to be cooped up with the boys in cheap motels with two double beds in one room. What if I want to stay up late?  And you know those two won’t sleep in the same bed.  They will be kicking each other and complaining all night!”  I thought it sounded like great fun because I could curl up at the foot of Jake’s and Carolyn’s bed.  Something they never let me do at home. 

Jake responded  with his usual half smile and half frown, “OK.  OK.  We’ll bring the boys’ sleeping bags and they’ll have to take turns sleeping on the floor if they can’t get along.  And maybe we can spend a couple of nights at a nice place with a separate room for the boys with twin beds.”

Not one word about me!  Agnes, beloved pet cat and most talked about family character!  How could they ignore me!  This has happened more than once.  They pet me, talk sweet to me and make me feel a part of the family and then leave me at home with the house sitter, bored and lonesome while they’re off having fun on what they call a trip.  It’s not fair.

Anytime I heard that word, Disneyland, I made sure I was nearby pretending to be asleep, but I  listened to everything.  Not only wasn’t I going, but this time Jake and Carolyn weren’t going to take Copper, that one-hundred pound klutzy, mush-mouthed Golden Retriever.   The last time they left him behind, I had to eat in three-seconds  flat so the great gulper wouldn’t gobble up my food after pushing me aside with his huge wet nose.  Unlike Carolyn, the sitter did nothing.  Not only that, I had to sleep in the laundry room at night with that rotten smelling dog and his seaweed breath.

I had the right to express myself and I did.  While they were at work and school, I pulled all my usual irritating habits and added a few new ones. 

“What is the matter with you?” Jake asked me one night just before bedtime when he caught me with my head in a Doritos bag.   He shook his finger at me,  “You’ve pushed the tablecloth off the dining room table, bumped over the piano lamp, and now you have jumped to the top shelf of the pantry and knocked the bag of Doritos on the floor.  AGNES, THAT’S ENOUGH.”

I knew what was coming, and before Jake could shoosh me away, I bit into one more Dorito and scurried  to the bathroom  and leaped behind the towels. He yanked me out by my hind legs before I could even finish my Dorito, carried me to the kitchen, threw the remaining Doritos in the garbage, hooked the cabinet door because I knew how to open it, and dumped me on the floor.  What a waste of good Doritos.  I stared at the cabinet hook for some time and returned to the bathroom cabinet, pulled out a couple of bath towels, found the crumbs of  my Dorito and finished my snack. I didn’t go to sleep; I had to make a plan.  What could I do tomorrow when all the Rasmussens were gone?   Humans aren’t quick on their feet like a cat and not so quick in other ways.  Leave me behind?  I’d find a way.

The next morning was bright and warm.  After Jake had fed me my usual kibbles, I slept through the morning in a sun drenched spot in the master bedroom.  When the sun was higher in the sky, I crawled out the hole I’d clawed in the screen door and jumped onto the picnic table on the back deck.  Stretched full length, I snoozed in the sunlight.  And then right in the middle of a dream where I was stalking a sparrow, I was awakened by  loud, excited voices.  What were the boys doing home this early?  

Seven-year-old Billy dashed around the corner into the kitchen,  “School’s out Mom!  Can I start packing?  What time do we leave?  Mom, I’ve got something important to tell you.”

“Billy, I’m on the phone.  I know school is out, and whatever you’ve got to tell me can wait.”

“It’s important, Mom.”

“Why don’t you go find your swimming suit?”

“Mom, I’ve already looked and I can’t find my swimming suit.  I can’t go without my suit.  I need help.”

“Billy, I’m on the  phone.  You look for it.  Where did you last have it?”

“Mom, that was last summer.”

I left my perch looking into the kitchen window and found a quiet sunny spot under a scraggly rhododendron and dreamed of the time robins built a nest on a branch high above me.  Oh boy, was that fun until Jake caught me and locked me in the laundry room so I wouldn’t disturb them.

Jake got up early the following morning; right away I knew that this must be the day!  He cradled me in his arms, cooed “Good morning Sweetheart,” and chucked me out on the damp, cold grass.  I carefully shook each paw, narrowed my eyes in the bright early sun, hid, and waited.  I had a plan.

Jake backed the station wagon out of the garage and opened all the doors.  He was in his usual bossy state before a family trip. “Billy, don’t put that in yet.  Honey, is the food chest ready?  David,  bring me your duffle bag!  We’ve got to get out of here.  Carolyn, have you fed Agnes?”

“No, not yet.  Could you take care of that?”

“Why do I have to do everything?  Where is Agnes?  David, will you look for her?  I haven’t even packed for myself.” 

“Jake, whose fault is that?”

“Dad, I found my suit.  Can we go now?”

“Now Billy, slow down.  One thing at a time.  Carolyn, do you have the traveler’s checks?  Anyone seen my camera?  Billy, have you seen it?”

Jake let out a deep breath while he carefully arranged the back of the wagon.  He likes to have everything in its place, but the boys kept piling stuff on top of everything Jake had arranged.  He threw his arms in the air and leaped up the steps to the front door.  Announcing to no one, “If anything doesn’t get into the wagon, it’s not my fault.  I’ve got to pack and look for my camera.”   

I slipped out from my hiding place beneath a shrub and in two quick leaps, I was in the wagon on top of Billy’s unrolled sleeping bag.  With everyone still in the house, I burrowed into the space under Billy’s sleeping bag.  Cozy and warm, I listened to the muffled shouts, complaints and directions from my people.  Some of it was about me. 

Ten-year-old David called, ”Dad, I still can’t find Agnes.”

“I guess she will just have to take care of herself until the house sitter comes.”

“Maybe she’s hurt.”

“I’m sure she’s O.K.  She knows how to take care of herself.”

Carolyn said, “David, are you sure she didn’t hide  in the bathroom cabinet?”

“Yes, I just checked.”

“Could she  have gotten in the wagon ?”

Jake, his voice firm, “ No way, I was in charge of loading the back and I would have seen her, but I’ll double check.”  Jake poked and shifted things around; I  slithered deeper and held back a complaint when he jabbed me through the sleeping bag.  “Billy, why isn’t your sleeping bag rolled up?  It’s just thrown in  here.”  

“The string’s broke, Dad.  I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“I sure didn’t hear you.  This is what happens when you boys just don’t listen to me when we load the wagon.  Well, I don’t see her, so I’ll have to leave a note for the house sitter.  Come on boys, get in the car.  Carolyn will you make a last check of the house while I write the note?”

Carolyn  spoke up, “I’ve already checked the house looking for Agnes. I’m not easy  with leaving Agnes outside.”

“Who knows?  She could be hiding inside the house.  We have be in southern Oregon this afternoon.  Any later and we’ll get stuck in Portland’s rush hour traffic.”

“All right, but I’m going to call the house sitter from our first stop for gas.  Julie said she would be at the house by noon or so.”

The engine rumbled and no one heard my satisfied purr.

I woke up hungry and I knew a  bag of Doritos was right on top of the food box.  I inched out from beneath Billy’s sleeping bag. Exposing only my right paw, I used my claws to hook the bag.  I drew it silently towards me until it fell off the top of the box with a crackle.  With everyone talking about whether the stove had been left on or not, no one heard the bag fall.  Using my teeth and claws, I ripped a small  hole in the bag, bit into two Doritos and quickly  withdrew into my cave for breakfast.  I’ll take Doritos to the kibbles Jake feeds me any day.

“Mom, can I have some Doritos?”

OH! NO!

“Billy, you just had two doughnuts.”

“But I’m still hungry! How soon will we be in Disneyland?  I want to see Mickey Mouse.”

Did Billy say a  mouse was in Disneyland?

“Oh Billy, that won’t be a for few days.  As for the Doritos, we’ll be stopping for lunch in another hour.”

“I can’t wait that long.”

“Honey, let him have a few.”

“All right, but I don’t want the boys eating too much junk food on this trip.”

“Thanks Dad. Dad, the Doritos bag isn’t on top of the food box.  Didn’t it get in the car?”

“It was right on the top.  Look in back; it must have fallen off when we turned the corner.”

“Here it is.  Dad!  David’s already been eating the Doritos!”

“I have not.”

 “Yes you have.  The bag’s open and some are gone.  I won’t get my share!”

“Well, I didn’t take any.  You probably did it.  You little brat.”

“Next you’ll blame Agnes,” Jake said.  “Keep still back there.  Each of you face a window.  And don’t take any more Doritos!”

“Dad?”

“What is it now, Billy?”

“I can’t find my pillow.  I’m tired.”

“It’s under your  sleeping bag.  Don’t make a mess back there.”

I heard a hand digging for the pillow, but it reached  me first and not too gently.  So, of  course, I bit it.

“Something’s in my sleeping bag. It bit me!”

“Don’t shout, Billy.  You’ll distract your father from his driving.”

“But it did.  It bit me!  It really did.  DAD, MOM – IT’S AGNES.”

“OH NO!”  Jake and Carolyn shouted together.

Carolyn added, “Jake, you said you checked.”

“Well, I can’t be expected to do everything.  This is what happens when everyone is loading the car.”

“What are we going to do?  We’re several hours out of Seattle.”

“I don’t know.  We’d better stop at the next rest stop.”

Since I was found, I jumped over the rear seat, preened against David, and looked out the window at the cars whizzing by.  What is a rest stop?  I was rested.  What I needed was water.  I was thirsty.  I also needed some dirt to do a little digging.